www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9xbh5kohE4

What does it mean? Nothing. I’ve long since come to understand that my brain catalogues weird shit while I’m sleeping. I also had a fairly violent & pornographic dream just before waking though; I think Tarantino would be proud of my soundtracking choices.

Actually it’s probably linked to me feeling a bit sorry for Arsenal last night. That’s just plain wrong. Maybe I really am sick in the head?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVy1g6TsRSA

Clearly they’re trying to sex her up a bit. I mean, she is after all, about as naturally sexy as, ooh I dunno… lettuce. Why lettuce? I’m not sure of that either, but it was the most insipid thing I could think of really. Now, I’m sure she’s a lovely girl and all. In fact she seems very sweet and she’s also pretty easy on the eye, I’ll grant her that. But sexy she is not. Boring, yes. Sexy, no.

I can understand her (& her record company) wanting to shed the sweet & innocent image. I mean, it’s only endearing for… well it’s not really, to be honest. But seriously. This was the best that they could come up with?

Rohypnol makes everything seem... oh, I can't remember

Sexy and provocative is clearly what they’ve aimed for, yet they’ve ended up with, a young woman who looks like she’s fighting off the effects of a rohypnol-spiked Mojito. Hardly “come to bed” eyes, but rather “I have barely any comprehension of where I am or who you are and I will have absolutely no recollection of this tomorrow morning”.

It’s the album cover equivalent of late-teens dressing up like low-rent versions of Megan Fox. Hopefully she’ll grow up to know herself & find her own style… actually, sod that, I couldn’t care less. Hopefully she’ll just learn to keep her thumb in the bottleneck of her Blue WKD next time she’s out for the night. Or about to go to a photoshoot.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmhqSk5Exos

www.youtube.com/watch?v=54XRNQ2C2x0

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFM140rju4k

“We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!”

I challenge you not to be singing that all day. Especially when you can download the song for free! Just go to http://www.ricardoautobahn.co.uk/ and click on the news link.

Woohoo! Oh, I already said that, but fuck it I am excited, dammit!

I am so ready for a weekend with three of the funniest women on the planet. Sadly one of the world’s other top 5 funny women couldn’t make it as she’s doing a triathlon back at home – I know, I know, she’s mental, but we’re related so you’re not going to pretend to be surprised by that are you?

I like to think we’ll be really cool looking like Alicia Silverstone & Liv Tyler (and another hot mate like, er, Drew Barrymore or something) in the Crazy video, as we bounce over the potholes cruise along the road, but more than likely we’ll be doing stuff like this as we drive along.

Cut loose! Footloose! Kick off your sunday shoes!

Especially as we’re off to a hooker festival!

So, to get to the point (it always takes me a while), I’m pulling together a playlist of songs for us to singalong to. So far, tracks include, the following, but I would love to know if there’s a seriously awesome roadtrip track that you think I’m missing, please leave a comment below…

1. Needle in a Haystack – The Velvelettes
2. Black & White Town – Doves
3. Don’t Stop Believing – Journey
4. War! – Edwin Starr
5. The Reeling – Passion Pit
6. Tribute – Tenacious D
7. Got to be Real – Cheryl Lynne
8. Woke Up This Morning – Alabama 3
9. Summertime Clothes – Animal Collective
10. The General Specific – Band of Horses
11. Walk Like an Egyptian – The Bangles
12. Push It – Salt & Pepa
13. God Only Knows – The Beach Boys
14. Hanging on the Telephone – Blondie
15. Across 10th Street – Bobby Womack
16. Cancel on Me – Bombay Bicycle Club
17. The Seed 2.0 – The Roots
18. Tiger Phone Card – Dengue Fever
19. Road to Joy – Bright Eyes
20. Moi je Joue – Brigitte Bardot
21. Lloyd, I’m Ready To Be Heartnbroken – Camera Obscura
22. Superstar – The Carpenters
23. Race for the Prize – The Flaming Lips
24. Whoo! Alright-yeah… Uh huh – The Rapture
25. Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundations
26. Laid – James
27. Waterloo – Abba
28. Dress You Up – Madonna
29. Boys Don’t Cry – The Cure
30. Ask – The Smiths
31. Rudie Can’t Fail – The Clash
32. Love Child – The Supremes
33. All I Need To Get By – Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrel
34. Womanizer – Britney
35. Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough – Michael Jackson
36. You’re so Vain – Carly Simon
37. No Good Start The Dance – Prodigy
38. Me & Julio Down By The Schoolyard – Simon & Garfunkel
39. True – Spandau Ballet
40. Dog Days Are Over – Florence & The Machine
41. Afternoon Delight – Ron Burgundy & The Channel 4 News Team
42. Psycho Killer – Talking Heads
43. Bette Davis Eyes – Kim Carnes
44. I Wanna Dance With Somebody – Whitney Houston (that one’s going to hurt a lot!)
45. Dog Train – The Levellers (a new on on me, but we’ll give it a whirl nonetheless I’m sure!)
46. …???

So, please let me know what songs you think we should add to the list – it’s a fair old drive, so we’ll need a few.

The light blue ones are the add-ons I’ve already received – thanks guys. More please, we want to be hoarse by the time we arrive

In return I’ll share the embarrassing stories (about them, not me you understand) that occur over the course of the weekend and lead to pics like this and this. And if you’re lucky I might even tell you what the “Mystical Web of Secret Toilet Love Is” – needless to say it is already a Kinvara legend

Can you tell I’m looking forward to this trip much? Hmmm…

www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9_eJm-QS1k

It makes me remember some of the things that I love most about my city – Deansgate for the shopping (not the slapper bars), the brilliant mix of cultures & the fantastic musical heritage. Very few other cities were half as cool as Manchester for music while I was growing up, except perhaps Seattle.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjWb4Iy8ARo

How cool is that? A steel band doing a spot of Joy Division!

Here’s the original too – a fucking classic! And if you disagree I WILL FIGHT YOU!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZwMs2fLoVE

Rock out with your… er, yeah, you know what to do…

It’s impossible to not want to dance to this song and yes, I can do the proper dancing thanks to my mum teaching me in the kitchen as a child. Though I tend to stay away from the more flamboyant stuff nowadays, as I’m getting on a bit

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNwfvzVQ3TI