curlydena.com » foolishness

Things that go “mumble” in the night

curlydena — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 13:01:34 +0000

I’m just back from a trip to see my Mr over in China, where he’s merrily teaching English for a year. It was a great trip for so many reasons, but largely because it was a massive giggle. He makes me laugh like a drain.

One thing I’d forgotten was how much fun he was while he was sleeping…

The second night in China:

Sleeping on my side I am woken suddenly by himself firmly shaking my shoulder. As I came around I heard him saying something. He was telling me off. I assumed I’d been snoring again; he hates my snoring. But no, it went like this…

Him: I can’t believe you were smacking me off!

Me: Uh? What?

Him: I can’t believe you would do that. Giving me drugs! Smacking me off!

Me: Do you mean “smacking up”?

Him: Eh, no! You drugged me & MADE me go to work. You smacked me off! Smacked me off & made me go to work!

Me: Erm, ok. Sorry about that

Him: Hugged me & carried on sleeping

Later in the holiday

Again, I’m happily sleeping away when…

Him: I can’t believe you did that!

Me: Wha?

Him: And right in the middle of our lovely friendship too

Me: Are you asleep?

Him: And NOW! Now, it’s just ME and Nick McGivenivenivney!

Me: (laughing) Yup. Still asleep.

And so, I’m home now & getting used to having the bed all to myself. Missing the midnight comedy shows though.

Mr funny Man

Trust me, I’m a Doctor

curlydena — Wed, 19 May 2010 15:15:12 +0000

If I were going to get any PhD, it would be one of these

toothpastefordinner.com

New Year News

curlydena — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 00:24:44 +0000

Well, I’ve finally got access to the t’interwebz again. TFFT!

So, what have I been up to? Mainly just chilling out back in England with the family over Christmas and then ripping it up in Ireland with friends new & old so far this New Year.

Christmas was lovely – just what the doctor ordered in fact. After a pretty stressful end to the year, I was very much looking forward to getting home & back to Walker Mansions.

It was especially lovely to be met by my gloriously bonkers mother at Manchester Airport, hit the pub with her and my Dad, watch the snow fall & see my Sister and her boyfriend, along with my Auntie, Cousins & pseudo-nephew Dylan too and eat my (ever increasing) body weight in pork pies and red onion chutney. Good times.

Then, in stark, yet superbly enjoyable, contrast came New Year shenanigans. After landing back to a somewhat blustery Dublin (& by blustery I mean gale-force, but 2010 is the year of the understatement don’t you know) I caught up with my two favourite boys, Dan & Alan and my new favourite hearthrob Sam Worthington when we went to see Avatar (and yes, I am VERY excited at the prospect of seeing him in Clash of the Titans – hottie in leather, fighting - what’s not to love?!).

Then came New Year’s Eve, a trip to Funderland with John, cava with my aforementioned favourite boys, vodka, Panti Bar, lots of laughs, some dancing, kissing the bouncer (the only straight man in the village after all) a house party, walking in the snow, another house party, a Toulouse Lautrec impression, walking in the snow, more drinks & then finally, sleep.

After a day of enforced rest, due to the wintry weather we’ve been having of late and Dublin City Council not knowing their gritted arse from their ice-ridden elbow, I headed over to Kinvara to meet up with some of my favourite girls – shares a knowing smile with Caroline, Jess & Lisa.

Cue a night or two of showing the small, rural Irish town how four girls from a not-so-small English city like to throw booze down their necks. Apparently it was impressive as we made some more new friends – tips hat to Mousey, Ger, Tommy & Fintan. Thanks for the giggles boys!

Along with the visually pleasing calendar by the boys of Kinvara United FC (see below), getting said calendar signed, many pints of Guinness, way too many vodka & red bulls (and subsequent caffeine induced heart palpitations), lock-ins & moon-walking.

The rest of the story is embargoed, frankly because it’s more than my life’s worth to tell you. Needless to say, MANY laughs were had and stories will be retold and in-jokes referenced in times to come.

So, all in all a very good couple of weeks and just what I needed. Plus, now that my techno-pipes are working again & allowing me to commit my every mildly interesting thought & whim to cyber-paper, you’ll be hearing a lot more from me (& Dan can stop nagging me to blog more).

PS – Yes, I still have the calendar & yes, it’s getting pride of place dans ma boudoir.

PPS – Happy new year everyone Hope you have a good’un.

Leona Lewis – Sexy like athlete’s foot

curlydena — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:15:08 +0000

What the hell is going on with Leona Lewis’s new album cover?

Clearly they’re trying to sex her up a bit. I mean, she is after all, about as naturally sexy as, ooh I dunno… lettuce. Why lettuce? I’m not sure of that either, but it was the most insipid thing I could think of really. Now, I’m sure she’s a lovely girl and all. In fact she seems very sweet and she’s also pretty easy on the eye, I’ll grant her that. But sexy she is not. Boring, yes. Sexy, no.

I can understand her (& her record company) wanting to shed the sweet & innocent image. I mean, it’s only endearing for… well it’s not really, to be honest. But seriously. This was the best that they could come up with?

Rohypnol makes everything seem... oh, I can't remember

Sexy and provocative is clearly what they’ve aimed for, yet they’ve ended up with, a young woman who looks like she’s fighting off the effects of a rohypnol-spiked Mojito. Hardly “come to bed” eyes, but rather “I have barely any comprehension of where I am or who you are and I will have absolutely no recollection of this tomorrow morning”.

It’s the album cover equivalent of late-teens dressing up like low-rent versions of Megan Fox. Hopefully she’ll grow up to know herself & find her own style… actually, sod that, I couldn’t care less. Hopefully she’ll just learn to keep her thumb in the bottleneck of her Blue WKD next time she’s out for the night. Or about to go to a photoshoot.

Go Cork Yourself!

curlydena — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 00:04:25 +0000

Ooh, look! I finally have an excuse to go down to Caaark & get hammered meet up with lovely Cork-based chums. And frankly, I think all you non-Cork-based folk should come along too.

Details are there, in all their glory, over at the Littlequiz site thus: www.short.ie/corkfood

We have to wear something nice too. ThoughI’ve somehow roped myself into wearing something with bells on it. But not in a Leper kind of way. In a totally sexy bell-wearing kind of way. Obviously.

Though my bells will make it heaps of fun when we do the obligatory dance. Like Jimmy Saville on crack perhaps? :-/

Anyway, be there or… be elsewhere but tragically missing out.

The Post That Will Never Die

curlydena — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:27:36 +0000

Back in my old stomping ground, I’m still getting a modicum of traffic to the Kama Lifestyles posts that I wrote about a million years ago.

I’m also still getting people defending the bollocks that is PUAs & “The Game”. Apparently, though, “Megadirt” thinks he guy who called me a retard was accurate, but just worded his thoughts badly…

FUCKWIT*

NB – I’m pretty sure this is well-worded though. (Fuckwit. Defn: Someone who despite constant failure, is unable to learn from these transgressions. Continues to do foolish and irritating things, which aggravate many people. They are not only a halfwit, but also significantly fucked in the head. Hence the term fuckwit)

Lessons for ladies everywhere

curlydena — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 22:48:13 +0000

Straight from the horses mouth, so to speak.

Fair play to him… at least he’s honest LMAO

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvjDr8KKtsE

What Goes On Tour…

curlydena — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 19:58:04 +0000

…evidently doesn’t stay on tour, as my girlfriends have been pestering me to write a post about our recent weekend away to Galway. Now, I’d like to think this is testament to my writing skills and the fact that I’m funny as fuck, but as a group we do like to reminisce about good times, so I feel it’s more a case of them all wanting to have it all noted down somewhere for posterity and those times when they need a chuckle.

Further more, my memories of that weekend are seriously patchy in part, as my age is catching up with me and I now have a brain that turns to swiss cheese when I’ve been drinking. But here goes…

First of all let me introduce the key cast members*:

Fergie – Co-Lead

Martha – Co-Lead

Leona – Co-Lead

Anne – Co-Lead

Al – The Bar Tender

Lovely Jim

Noah – Boat builder

Hot Dude – a hot, er, dude

GAA Boy

Joe – GAA Boy’s Younger Brother

The Krankees – Teeny, tiny couple that we saw everywhere

The Captain

Rowley Birkin QC

The English Rose – Al the Bar Tender’s GF

*All names have been changed to protect the guilty

Now, I’m going to split this over a few posts because it’s just too long to put into one overall post – what can I say, we crammed a lot in. The chapters will be thus:

Friday – It’s Groundhog Day

Saturday – Coo Coo Ca Choo Mrs Robinson

Sunday & Monday – 15 Hour Party People

Try not to judge… it was probably much worse than I’ve been able to relay here.

"You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels"

curlydena — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 16:36:32 +0000

I was going to make a joke about “…right up my alley”, but frankly it was too obvious and where’s the sport in that?! But, huzzah, I’m off to partake in a little sport this evening.

It's a small world when you've got unbelievable tits Roy.

The only sports I’m interested in are the ones with beer and er, rental shoes. Maybe not the rental shoes but definitely the beer. So tonight I’m gonna bust out my best Bill Murray moves, (hell, I’ve got the awesome coiffure), and score a turkey or two. Well, that or I’ll just look like a turkey.

Either way, look out for the balls a-flyin’!

Non-speccy two eyes

curlydena — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 11:46:25 +0000

Sometimes, I am a total and utter numpty. Add to that the fact that sometimes I am a pathetic fashion victim and forget what I actually look like and that I don’t faff about at Parson’s School of Design in NYC during my 9-5, and you’re in for the odd fashion disaster from time to time.

Not tooting my own horn or anything, but I’m not usually what you might call sartorially challenged. I dress pretty well most of the time, or at least like to think so. So, I can only assume that I had some kind of brain fart when I chose to buy these from the lovely ASOS home of many a bargain for the budget-minded fashionista (god I hate that word!)

Photo Credit: Asos.com

Now, why would I do this? I have no fucking idea. I don’t even wear glasses, though I kind of wish I did, however, I digress. So, anyway there came a day when my super cool glasses arrived. Did I look any good in them? Did I heckers-like! I looked like a twat!

The glasses have gone back.