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As a girl with a very English accent (not even a particularly strong regional accent either) I’ve always known that rap was not a career option that was open to me. It’s good to know your limitations. Along with rap star, I always knew that several things were out of my reach: nurse for only [...]

I woke up at about 4am this morning. With this song playing in my head. Well, the Fontella Bass version of it anyway. What does it mean? Nothing. I’ve long since come to understand that my brain catalogues weird shit while I’m sleeping. I also had a fairly violent & pornographic dream just before waking [...]

Saw a guy today. He was walking on the other side of the street to me. Something about him caught my eye. “Ooh, he looks cute” I thought. Zhuzhed up my hair (you know, that kind of shaky thing you do to give it oopmh?), smoothed down my coat, checked there wasn’t any loo roll [...]

There was a rainbow on my way to work today. There was also an Hipstamatic app on my iPhone, which until last weekend I’d forgotten all about. So the inevitable happened; I took some really crap pictures, using said app, of said rainbow. And then there was a rainbow right over work too. Now, if [...]